Just when you think you can sit back and try to enjoy the peacefulness you desperately sought after, the world overwhelms you with its conflicts, hatred and despair of normal life...

 

And General Insanity creeps in Every day....

 

 

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

--> Another summer day has come and gone away..But I wanna go Home <--

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

Coincidence.. I spent my summers in both Paris AND Rome. Now on reflection, I don't know which home I was thinking about: Singapore? Or Bristol? England?

Sometimes, I feel a sense of displacement here. I want to be Singaporean but no matter how much I try, it's like as if a part of me remains in Britain. Despite the unchanged Singaporean accent, the little bit of Kiasu characteristic I've kept, the black hair, the love for Char Kway Teow and the yearning to preserve as much of my Asian culture, I cannot completely erase the new Western ideas brought about by my education. I have adopted some English attitude and independence. I end my sentence of, ' Uncle, please, one green tea, can?' with the English 'Cheers!' or 'Ta!' I cannot fight the British love for cheesy music or prevent myself from embracing their sweet teas and crumbly scones with butter.

And yet, I feel displaced... How does one define home? Where family is? Where one has experience 'life' as we know it? Independence? Memories??

Will England be my home? I can't imagine settling there, alone..amidst a million people I don't know. Whereas here, my family makes this place my comfort zone. Maybe there'll never be a place I can call truly 'home'. I love England and yet, I feel a pull towards and affinity with France: a conservative, lofty and romantic city struggling against and in a modern, cynical and less feeling world. And Singapore? What can I say? It was where I was born, where my family is, where I've found some of my closest friends... I can't get away from my roots or heritage but I can't immerse myself in it fully either.

Another aerorplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home ..

If I ever know where 'home' is...

Chloe Andrina Tied_ 11:33 PM

++++++++
Thursday, June 15, 2006

--> Mortality, thy name is Death... <--

Something I've been thinking of these past 2 nights was mortality. I almost lost someone very dear to me and it just hit me like a bolt of lightning how in a mere decade, I might be losing people I love and care about.
I just wanted to rewind my whole life and start over, so that I could take back all the hurtful things I said or did.
And then I thought about places where death was just a normal occurance... where Death just takes his pick and chooses anyone- *snap* just like that...
I couldn't live like that..knowing that any day, my parents or siblings, or friends could be the doomed 'chosen' ones... A character from a movie once asked," Where's hell?" And how apt the reply was:

You're living it...

I can see Age creeping in, leaving trails on my parents' faces and its bruises on their bones and joints. At times, I actually feel afraid because of the uncertainty that goes along with mortality.
Sometimes, we really don't appreciate people enough until it's too late.
I hope I don't commit that same crime...

Chloe Andrina Tied_ 10:01 AM

++++++++

Miss Chloe Andrina Lim

GP Tutor

Ah yes, the coolest GP website ever created by Miss Chloe Lim..No More excuses for forgetting to bring articles or assignments!!

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