Just when you think you can sit back and try to
enjoy the peacefulness you desperately sought after, the world overwhelms you
with its conflicts, hatred and despair of normal life...
And General Insanity creeps in
Every day....
--> If There's One Thing I Could Change... <--
I would turn back the clock and make sure I didn’t get stupidly drunk on Tuesday after my exam and belt out songs in the tube station!! Ok, it was entertaining for the rest of the world and I guess if that makes everyone happy, then well, c’est la vie!
The exam was terrible, needless to say. Personal tax was kind of okay BUT I finished all the short questions in less than an hour and I just wondered if there was something I missed out.. too simple to be true..Then when the Business tax paper came, I then understood that the examiners have one twisted sense of humour! Just as you hoped you were going to pass, they dump an outrageously difficult paper on you; which makes you melt into a helpless puddle on the floor.
Of course, the question that ran through my head was: Why am I doing this???
Obviously, pondering over this mystery led to a lack of concentration as my overly generous Irish friend topped up my glass and before you know it, I’m in a Thai restaurant (How I got there, I never knew) proclaiming in my ultra Singaporean way as I dig into my prawn kuay teow, ‘I can’t finish my food but I’ll finish the prawns because they’re the expensive bits on this plate..’!!!
It was a miracle that I even got to work 15 mins early.. So I’ve been doing all these small menial jobs and attending talks about how we should dress, wear make up, make sure our underwear is never visible (you know, the normal stuff we always do..yes, flashing underwear!) and never to talk about our clients openly in the lifts in case we horrify a potential client with our obvious breach of confidentiality.
Again, I asked myself on Friday: Would I change all of this?
I also got to thinking about my life and the relationships I’ve made over the years and wonder if I would change any of it. I had a few rough patches with people whom I thought were close friends of mine. I admit, it hurts and it still does and I find myself wishing that I never offered that hello or handshake or never let myself express my vulnerability.. basically, I wish I had never given so much of myself. Maybe without that tentative first step, I’d have been a much happier person.
Then again, I guess life is a trial and one of the bigger challenges is knowing who to trust and who you can keep as friends. It’s probably a skill that we have to pick up slowly and painfully. Perhaps to look at the brighter side of things, if I didn’t encounter these people who have hurt me, I might not be able to treasure and appreciate the ones who have brought me joy.
Chloe Andrina
12:18 PM
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